Updated: May 11
Moving your intimate life into the stratosphere of pleasure!
(First published in the Saturday Star as guest columnist for Sharon Gordons' "Play Together" Column)
It’s always quite fascinating to me that when I’m asked to talk on radio, or be interviewed, most people wants to talk about “Tantric Sex”, or the Kama Sutra, or just sex generally.
Sometimes they want to talk about orgasms, how many, how long, how to get there, how to stay there, how to give them, how to get them.
Although I know it’s really important to have these conversations, to be able to talk about sexuality in a healthy way, an open way, a helpful way and an educational way, what I really want to talk about is way beyond these topics, beyond orgasm.
I mean that quite literally, the space beyond orgasm, when orgasm is just a portal, a starting point.
This place, discovered where you move beyond orgasm into Bliss State, flow state, where your whole body zings, feels orgasmic yet peaceful, you’re in total flow with being in skin, clothed in your body.
In total cohesion with being in the form that you are, beyond roles, expectations, body shape or size.
Orgasm is just a starting point
I don’ t even really want to refer to it as pleasure or orgasm, because it feels light years beyond that. It’s an experience of spiritual bliss that can be accessed through the gate of sexual energy.
It can be accessed on your own
That’s also what people shy away from often in interviews, they are open minded enough to want to talk about sex, but it’s still quite taboo to talk about a disciplined practice of self- pleasure to take you into expanded states of consciousness!
Masturbation only seems to be socially acceptable when linked with feeling horny or watching porn. It certainly is not linked to mindfulness or meditation…
Or is it?
Of course it is, everything involved with the body can be a practice of mindfulness.
In fact, it’s the best idea to find that mindful space on your own first. In many ways it’s actually easier than the emotional and sexual expectation baggage that often accompanies finding that expanded consciousness space with a partner.
One of the biggest barriers that comes up for my clients is using the pleasurable and nourishing activities of self – pleasuring or masturbation to activate a mindful flow and bliss state in the body.
Held back by social programming
The programming we hold about pleasure and sexual energy is so strong, that it often takes years to remove the layers of fear, guilt and shame that surround being able to organically move into this state of mindful bliss, body allowance and connection to the self, the body you currently reside in.
When you are able to access these states of being, bliss and awareness, flow state becomes more possible in so many other areas. Not to mention the happy hormones and chemicals that flood our bodies with this as a mindful practice.
Yet, we get sidetracked at the gate.
We spend all of our energy, our life force, in states of looking for the heightened contractive short orgasm, what I term “friction-based-orgasm-hunting” (also known as sex in the western world)
We close off the possibilities of going deeper, of being completely present in our bodies, of integrating sexual energy, the possibilities of touch and nourishment in so many more forms than just sexual intercourse.
Are you ready to move beyond orgasm?
You may start with the deliciousness of discovering great touch in your relationship, learning real skill sets that begin to change and expand your orgasmic experiences, this is great foundational practice to eventually move mindfulness and consciousness into your sex life too.
And once you’ve played there for a while, enjoyed the fruits of being a skilled and pleasurable lover, when you’re ready to go beyond, I’d love to be able to help you access the shifts in awareness, in Tantra, in flow state, creativity, manifestation and a more loving, mindful and connected world that can blossom within the seeds of bliss.
Let’s talk about what’s beyond orgasm
Let’s move beyond just being horny teenagers into a fullness of conscious sexuality.